“The Not-so-happy Continuation”

OneBusyWeek + OneCuteGirl = AbreakingOfAheart

That’s the equation; it took only those two to break a woman’s heart. It doesn’t make sense does it? But it turn out to be true to the bones, let me continue the last topic. It all started that one night, I saw him lying on someone else’s legs. It hurts. Although I don’t have any right to be jealous or something, It still hurts me. This is where the “not-so-complicated” become really complicated. Worst, he even admitted to me that he really like that girl, not considering what will I feel. I feel that from the moment I told him I love him, he just change. From being that sweet, caring guy t that “I-don’t-care-about-you” or “I-don’t-even-notice-your-there” guy. Everything went crazy. I’d cried. But realized that he’s not worth my tears. Now he is sitting right next to me, not knowing that I’m writing about him. “Let it be” The Beattle’s sing. But I cannot deny the fact that I didn’t want our story to end this way. But if it’s really what ‘s supposed to happen, then I’ll accept it. If it is what God has planned I’m honored to follow it with all my heart.

Hope I can cope up with this heartbreak.. pray for me guys.. thanks..!!

“Sometimes, letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t love that person anymore, it means that you love that person so much that you are willing to give him up for his own happinnes..”
-C.A.P.S (._.)

..Going from “Complicated” to “It’s not that Complicated”..

I thought it was not that complicated. We had what you call a mutual understanding. We like each other. He also had confessed to me that he loves me. But then I stop and think. What it is that we have? I wanted us to be formal. Of course we’re friends, but we had special treatment on each other that it feels like we we’re already together. It’s confusing. At least if we had a commitment we wouldn’t be so confuse. We can crush and burn like any couple was. But the problem is we both know we’re not yet ready to commit, that we’re still immature about being in a relationship that’s why we both have to wait.

“The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing” says Joshua Harris, author of one of the best selling book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. He is indeed right, the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.

But then I’m confused, it’s hard to assume that there is nothing going on between us when the fact is that there is something. Something special, something awesome, something both of us like. I don’t know if it’s better this way. But I know there’s something wrong with what I’m feeling. I feel like there’s something that we shouldn’t do. And I feel like there was something that we should be doing. It is hard to weight in the difference between love and friendship.

But then we both knew something that is genuine and true and that is God is between us in everything we do. He is the Author of everything and we give our faith and trust only in His hands. We both know that in everything we’ve been doing there should be His presence and guidance. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and always there. And I trust in God’s perfect timing. That’s why again.. I’m willing to wait.

And after all, I’ve just realized, that it’s not that complicated at all.

.. A litlle bit more longer..

I've waited all my life for him. And now that I've found him, now that God give him to me, now that everything was seem so right, God is telling me that "You've waited that long for him, you've been so patient in waiting for him, yet you did not give up, yet your still true enough to your faith, I know that you've waited so long for him, but now that I had given him to you, you have to wait a little bit more longer". Why? Should I even ask?.. I've trusted God long enough, shouldn't I trust Him even more?. I should and I would.

I'm a graduating second-year student, he's a freshman. We've known each other for the past 2 months, we had a knowledge that we both like each other, we've both written each other little love letters. He love me, he said, and I like him back. But today or even tomorrow  or even next month was not the right time for us. He knew it and he's actually the one who's reminding me. He has a close relation with God, and that's one thing I love about him. His ready to wait then so am I.

After 5 years or even more, if we're meant to be then so it be. And we know that God is the Author of all great things. He is the Author of our story, and to Him be the Glory!

Yes,I love him and he loves me. But I'm willing to wait a little bit more longer..  for it is what God has commanded me to do. So, I will trust Him and keep my faith at all times. :)

..The I-don't-know-what's-the-title Article..

Title.One of the most obscure thing in this world was the "Title". I don't know about you, but for me, as a writer, I usually find it hard to think of a title. I would write something and when it's almost done and all, then will come the hard thing: thinking about the title. Of course it was always a pressure, you need to think of something unique that can catch the attention of the reader. But at the same time, you don't wanna be too over the top. You want simple yet attractive. Kinda unique but still is familiar. Then of course the title should have something to do with the content of your writing piece. You don't necessarily have to find the title in the piece, you just need to find a connection at one point or another. Isn't it hard? Sure thing. I wonder how all the great writers thought of their titles. Imagine, Les Misarables, Merchant of Venice, The Cask of Amontillado, The Little Prince, Charlie's Web, The Bridges of Madison County, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Romeo and Juliet. Of course, there's an exception for the said novels, because they are stories and their titles present their main character or main story. You know, I've written so many things that didin't have titles on them, up to know they remain "Untitled". I think of using "Untitled" as the title but it's so used up. I wanted something fresh in the ear. Actually up to this hour I still can't think of what would be the title of this article. If I entitle it as "Title", it will be so boring. I need to come up with something. Oh! Darn it! I can't think of anything! Any suggestions? That will be a lot of help, promise. *all smiles* ;p

...sa acquaintance..

Invitaton

The Beautifully-decorated Stage

Friends Forever.. yeah.. haha..

CSC officers,..

The controversial stolen.. haha..

The Computer Department..

..Patience..

You never know the true meaning of the word until you've experience what it takes to be patient. Just this morning, I went to the municipal office of Imus to register as a first time voter. We got there at exactly 8:00am. Everything went well at the signing of the forms, because our (as quoted as) "future captain" help us.
Then the wait start. You'll wait until your name or number is called. Easy, right??.. That's what we thought. But obviously what we thought was wrong. Our waiting begun.. minute per minute.. the clock was ticking. An hour pass.. 2 hours pass.. Nothing was moving.. 3.. I felt so bored, I regret leaving my phone in our house.. 4.. It's already 12 in the afternoon.. lunchtime.

We get out of the building to eat our lunch at a nearby cafeteria.

Then we went back inside, there's still a bunch of people waiting for their turn. It's as if the time had frozed and nobody moves. We still patiently wait. Again an hour pass. "Hoy! Bakit tumigil n kayo sa pagtawag ng pangalan?! Andami pa'ng tao dito oh " an (almost) angry man has spoken from the back. True enough, the calling of names and numbers stop for about an hour. Many people are ranging because they don't understand why it's taking so long for their names to ba called. A few people I've spoken to said that they've been here since 5 in the morning and yet their names are haven't been called yet. They're confused at what was happening. Many opinions are blasting out from the mouths of the people. I understand them because of all this time of waiting, many things also run in my minds. We don't know what's happening inside and what's taking them so long. Until at exactly 1:30pm, they started to call names again. I'd open my ears widely for my name. Until, I've heard that sweet sound, "Silla, Carisse Ann.. Silla, Carisse Ann". I swear to you I'd never heard my name sound so sweet. I immediately raised my hand to show that I'm there. They gave me my registration form and told me to fall in line. Again, the agony of waititing. But looking around in the crowd of people that had'nt still called, I feel so lucky. Yes! I thought to myself. Finally, the long wait is almost over.

Then finally my turn came, when I got inside, I never thought that the office would look this busy. Everyone's been moving. Nobody had took their breaks. But there's still a pile of reg. form sitting on their desk, it's like it's not going to end. When you're outside, you do not know what was happening inside, your almost thinking that the officers are being lazy and taking their time on their work. But the reality is, it's a different world inside. And all it takes to understand that is patience. Patience to wait for your turn. And trust me, when you get your turn it was one of the most sweetest reward you'll ever gonna get from being patient.

*/And finally, I'm a registered voter!! Bow!! All smiles:))*/ <3

A Boring Night Turned Extraordinary

It was one of those boring nights where I'm tired of watching T.V, got no book to read, too fed up with texting , too early to fall asleep and yet so awake to do all that I can think about. Yes, it was one of those boring nights. I'm sitting in my bed, alone in my room, I look around, "Nothing to do" I thought. I don't have to study anymore because we just finish our prelim exam. I've got no project to pass. No book to read. My Mp4's broken, can't play my favorite tunes. I've texted everyone in my phonebook, no one seems to reply, maybe they're busy. They were lucky.

Some nights, I can't even think of where to start because I had to do so many things. But now, I'm complaining 'cause I've got nothing to do. Sound's crazy, right? Other's would love to have the time to relax like I do, but yet I'm still complaining. Why you ask? I don't like it when I'm doing anything (even though my parents always told me I'm lazy). I feel like I'm wasting so much time. That is instead of doing something worthy, I ended up feeling so useless.

That's when I realize, "Hey! Wait a minute, I can do something I like without feeling like I'm wasting my time." That's the time I grab a pen and paper on my desk, sit and start scribbling down my thoughts. I write. Write. Write. And it end up, I started my own novel, got a few articles, and even write all I'd ever wanted to be, my dreams, hopes, and fears. It turned out that writing did not only helped me use my precious times, it also made me discover myself a little more. It made me realize who I am inside that I didn't even know before.

I had never thought that one of those boring nights would turn out to be extraordinary. Extraordinary in a sense that it made me discover my passion in wrirting.

There's a lesson here somewhere, and I should know it. Ah! I know! Maybe it's doing things you always wanna do right now. As in now! In this very moment. Use this time to do all you can, because you'll never know, you'll discover something special and unique about yourself (like I did!).
And be ready to see boring and ordinary things turn out as fun and as extraordinary as you want it to be.

"Almost all you do would be insignificant, but it's important that you do it".
                                                        -Mahatma Ghandi

..Bizarre Love Triangle..

Romeo love Juliet. Jack love Rose. Cinderella love Prince Charming. Barbie love Ken. Everyone in fantasy land have their partners. But in reality land, it doesn't often feel like it. I don't know about you, but I'm experiencing a bizarre love triangle. I like someone, and I don't know whom he likes. Someone like me, but someone else lpve him. I think it's not a triangle, it's a square. We're the awesome foursome.

But that's the end of the equation, really. The four of us have those push-pull moments. We're circling down on a spiral cord of friendship and love.
How can you love someone when your friend love him?
How can you know what he feels when your too afraid to tell him you love him?

"..And everyday my confusion goes.." as the lyrics say.
It's true, I'm caught about everything and it's so confusing. I don't know what to think and feel.
It's those moment wher your not sure what to do.. It's those moment where your happy to fall in love but is afraid of no one catching you...

What will I do? God tell me. Guide me Lord. Teach me to take my time. Teach me not to rush everything in your plan. Tell me that what I'm feeling is only temporary. Let me know what to do.

Time will tell...but it will take time to tell..

..the not so busy week..

July 28,2010... a shocking news came.. "May meeting po tayo bukas, 9am..".. My first reaction: "Ha??"..
"You were elected po as the computer department representative.." 2nd reaction: "talaga?? nanalo ko?? kahit di tumakbo?? pano yun??".. But that was all just a reaction in my mind.. actually I just smile and say.."um.. sige po..". Shock and alarmed... I'm part of the College Student Council!.. what the??!!

The first meeting: .. it all went smooth... we talk about certain things about the CSC.. then came the part where we talked about the acquiatance.. At nagkagulo na po.. bow..
No. Actually.. it just came as a shock to me how detailed we talked about the party. When I was still a regular student back in my first year.. All I thought was.. "Yeah.. so we're gonna have our acquintance coming.. I need to pay..Look for something to where.. Then move on.." Now I realize what hard work was put in all those preparation... Just last night.. I came home at 9 in the evening.. All day was a busy day.. No more easy work.. all was a product of hard work..

Now I came to realize what a responsibility I was put to... But I still thank those who voted for me...
Because if not for them, I will never be more responsible than I am before..

I am now looking forward for more activities...
I am now more excited to take matters into my own hands...
I am now more thinking about others and less about myself...

I am being at my best.. yet not sacrificing who I am...

I'm the newly elected, College Rep... and I'm willing to take all the responsibility...

<..Thanks to the CSC.. and UCC students for trusting in me..>

/*At ngayon.. abangan ang pagtakbo ko bilang pangulo ng pilipinas..sa year.. 20..something.. :p*/ 

My First Love

He will never be mine, although I know it, I think about him all the time.
Even though it hurts, he's the one that hold's my heart.
Even though I know It'll never come true, I still dream of having him all night.
I just want to have him in my darkest hour, but all I can do was to hug my pillow.
It is him who made me cry,
It was him who made me feel different.
Different from all those petty infatuations, different from all those crushes.
It was different, because he is different.
He is all I need and want, yet he is all I've lost and can never have.
He never know it, and I swear he'll never be.
Even though it's hard to admit it, I think I'm in love with him.
I think I just have my First Love.
And I also just had my first broken heart.  

..I'm Not Alone..

The wind was still. Nothing is moving. It feels like the earth forgot to breath. I'm all alone. Then I look up, saw the clouds turn gray. It feels like it's closing in on me. Even the leaves doesn't dance like they used to be. Though it's dark, there was still a rey of light coming from the sun.

That's when I remember Him. He who's always there. He who never chage. He who loves me no matter what. He who made me.

Then suddenly, I feel a little happiness in my heart. A little happiness that's enough to made me feel loved again. When the world suddenly turn it's back on me, and it feels like I'm alone. I turn to look at what I have left, and it seems to be Him..now.. always.. ti'll the end of time..forever..

Even though the wind was still not there, the earth doesn't breath, the clouds remain dark, the leaves doesn't dance anymore, and even though there was no one around me... I don't feel so alone anymore..